Adventures at a Community Health Clinic.

Well, I have found something that rivals French bureaucracy in terms of getting things done, tension levels, and getting the run-around. Wow. I went to a community health clinic in Rock Hill this afternoon for my first medical visit. My appointment was for 2 p.m. and I got there 15 minutes early. I signed in, no problem.

They called me back up to the [germ-infested] desk to ask me for my pay stubs and proof-of-residency in order to figure out where I calculated into the sliding-scale payment equation (yay low-income, I guess). I have two jobs right now...the first I get paid bi-weekly, the second only once a month. So I brought two pay stubs from the former and one from the latter. Apparently I needed two from the latter. They told me I would either have to pay the full amount or reschedule my appointment. I'd already had to wait 3 weeks for this one! Ahhhh! After 30 minutes of appealing to people's better natures, they finally gave me a break and told me that I could bring the second one when I came back to have my Tb test read. Fantastic! A kind word and a smile will get you absolutely everywhere with people who rarely receive such things. I pay for my visit, sit back down, and wait for my turn.

And I wait and I wait and I wait. By now it's almost 3. They call me back up to the window to tell me that, unfortunately, the doctor that I had been scheduled with had called in sick today and wasn't there at all. I would have to come back. WHAT?! Not only have I already been there for an hour but you guys knew the whole time that my doctor was not there...and you even had me pay knowing this fact! I put on my defeated face. I patiently told them that I had already waited three weeks for this appointment, that they should have called me so that I didn't have to needlessly miss a day of work, that I needed to get this done ASAP, that there must be some way that somebody could see me today, etc. The girl at the window took pity on me (again, the use of "please" and "I appreciate your effort" will get you absolutely everywhere) and told me that she would do what she could for me. Okay. I sit back down and wait.

And then, the medical gods decided to take pity on me in the form of a pissed-off, rude, over-the-top woman. She started yelling because she didn't want to put on a face mask (she was coughing up a storm) and it escalated. Result? She got kicked out of the clinic and I got her appointment slot. Yaaaaay!

10 minutes later, I am whisked to the back and into an examination room. Weight, height, BP, and vision...check. Physical exam, check. Girly exam, check. Tb test, check. My doctor was extremely nice...she was very young and very, very patient with all my paperwork (PC exam form plus additional asthma forms). She sent me over to the lab to do bloodwork. 

So, I haven't mentioned my phobia of needles. This isn't just your basic "Ugh, needles" type of thing. When I was 3, I had pneumonia and had to go to the hospital. They tried to put in an IV and it took 21 jabs before they managed to get the thing in my arm. I do not remember this fiasco but it seems to have residual effects in the form of a scar and total blackouts when in the vicinity of hypodermics. When I was 8 or 9, I had to get a shot thanks to a wonderful case of creupe...and it took a crowd of people to hold me down. Strength of 10 men, haha. I blacked out and have no recollection of that. So, you get the idea. The first two shots I got just over a week ago was my pilot run of the "I'm a big brave dog" mantra (thank you, Rugrats). I just decided that either I could control the situation or I could allow the situation to control me. And, for whatever reason, that worked. Mind over matter, perhaps. Today was much of the same. Tb test, no problem. Bloodwork.  10 vials of blood later, I was finished for the day. Yeeppp, me = awesome. I'm definitely indulging in a bit of gratuitous self-appreciation, haha. I got a new friend to celebrate my monumental achievement. This is Nova the fish, short for Supernova...because he is a firecracker. :P

So, they tell me I am good to go. I ask for all my paperwork back, which they had taken to work on while I was being pin-cushioned. "Oh, we're going to keep that here until the results of the bloodwork come back." Holy panic attack. Those papers are like the holy grail at this point...and this place seems like the kind of place that important papers go to disappear. I tried to reason and was reduced to pleading with them to give me back my papers. They would not let me have them. So, I suppose this is my next major lesson on letting go. I'm still on the verge of hyperventilation thinking about my papers being stolen by gnomes or eaten by goats or something. Stay tuned for the resolution on that one.
My total for everything was $75...though, I walked out without the two prescriptions I was supposed to get. I'll have to get those on Friday. Hopefully, they won't be expensive and I will get away with very minimal medical cost incurred personally...especially since the wisdom tooth debacle is still very much in progress. I'm very pleased as $150 (polio shot + doctor visit) is a very far cry from the $1300 quote from the family practice.

Alrighty, I suppose that's all for now. I can't really report much more until I get the lab reports and my Peace Corps papers back from the clinic. They said a two-week turn-around on the pap test (*siiigghhh*) and didn't say how long on the bloodwork. I have a feeling I will be making several more appearances at the clinic. Another blog post coming on my observations at the community clinic. It's quite honestly one of the most pitiful places I have ever seen in my life...and I have seen some pretty pitiful places. But, yes, more on that later.
Bonne nuit. :)